Few experiences are more unsettling for a parent than witnessing their child succumb to fear, especially when it stems from imaginary monsters. Candace Dior, a TikTok user, found herself grappling with exactly this when her viral video about her son’s fear of a ‘monster’ captured the attention of over 3.4 million viewers. In this article, we’ll explore the phenomenon of the
monster phase
, expert insights from child therapists, and effective strategies that parents can implement to help their children overcome these childhood fears.
The root of the monster phase often emerges during a crucial developmental stage in children, typically between the ages of 3 and 9. This is when young minds are rapidly expanding their understanding of reality versus fantasy. As imaginations flourish, so too can fears of the dark, shadowy figures, or unseen creatures lurking at night. This fear is very real for children, which makes handling the situation delicate yet imperative for a parent.
Dior’s situation began when her 3-year-old son asked her, “Mommy, can you make the monster go?” Initially, she dismissed the idea, thinking it was just a childhood whim. However, his insistence led her to acknowledge his fear, at which point she brought in a lighthearted approach.
### Validating Childhood Fears
Child therapist Jen Burke emphasizes the importance of recognizing and validating a child’s feelings. Ignoring their fear by stating, “There’s no such thing as monsters” can sometimes exacerbate the worry. Instead, it's vital for parents to acknowledge how scary the situation seems from their child's perspective. An example response could be, “It must feel really scary to think there’s a monster in your room.”
This validation helps children feel heard and understood, reducing feelings of isolation and allowing them to express their emotions more freely. It signifies to them that their fears, no matter how whimsical an adult might perceive them, are taken seriously.
### Making Monsters Less Scary
To ease their anxiety surrounding these fears, therapists suggest employing playful and imaginative techniques. Burke encourages parents to transform the monster into something silly or benign. For example
- Have your child draw the
monster
or visualize it doing something humorous, like clumsily roller skating.
- Create a story where the monster is friendly or is defeated by a superhero version of your child.
This approach can lessen anxiety and facilitate a fun way of discussing what frightens them. Encouraging creativity can help a child regain a sense of control over their fears.
### Establishing a Calming Bedtime Routine
Bedtime often amplifies the
monster phase
, as darkness tends to stimulate children's imaginations. Implementing a structured
calming bedtime routine
can significantly mitigate nighttime fears. Burke recommends strategies that might include
- Using a nightlight to illuminate the room gently.
- Allowing a favorite stuffed animal to provide comfort.
- Playing calming music or incorporating deep-breathing exercises before sleep.
These components create an environment that promotes peace and security, helping to dispel anxiety surrounding bedtime.
### Understanding Cultural References to Fear
The public reception of Dior’s plight highlighted not only a shared understanding of the
monster phase
but also a discussion about cultural references which might contribute to a child's fear. Among these references is the concept of 'The Hat Man'—a shadowy figure many children describe encountering. Discussions on TikTok revealed a host of childhood experiences tied to this shadowy figure, initiating the exploration of how community tales can heighten children's fears.
These cultural references suggest that it may be beneficial for parents to engage in conversations about fears in their context. Sharing stories, making them lighthearted, or diving into cultural explanations can demystify these figures. Instead of suppressing the fear, addressing it openly can teach children about the difference between reality and fantasy in a productive way.
### Engaging with Experts
When fears escalate to a point where they disrupt a child’s daily life, seeking professional help can be a useful avenue. Child therapists have training in managing childhood fears and can provide coping strategies tailored to your child's unique experiences. They can work with your child to help them understand and regulate their emotions while equipping parents with techniques to assist at home.
Dior's story on TikTok resonated with many parents navigating similar waters, highlighting that children often experience fears that originate from their vivid imaginations. As one user suggested, tactics including reading comforting passages, like Psalms, can add a layer of reassurance against fears. The key takeaway from this viral experience is the affirmation that both children and their anxieties deserve attention and empathy during this developmental phase.
### Conclusion
While the
monster phase
can be distressing for parents witnessing their children’s fear, addressing this stage with love and understanding can lead to more comfortable nights. By validating experiences, engaging in playful transformation techniques, and setting calming bedtime routines, parents can help alleviate emotional distress. It’s important to support children in distinguishing between the fantastical and the real, paving the way for emotional growth and resilience. If fears persist and begin to affect sleep and daily life, consulting a
child therapist
for additional strategies may provide long-term relief and comfort. This holistic approach not only aids in overcoming the
childhood fears
related to monsters but also fosters lasting emotional security.